Contents

Opportunities and Challenges - Introduction

Adults: Moving Up and Moving On

Preschooler Preparation

Grade Schoolers

Middle School Ages

The High School Years

Settling for the Best - Conclusion

About the Author

Opportunities and Challenges

With every opportunity comes a challenge and for every positive experience and new friend you'll make in moving, there are many emotions and changes you might not anticipate.

It often feels like an overwhelming experience as moving draws upon physical and emotional resources. Facing these changes may require adjustments by your entire family. You'll also discover the opportunity to become more sensitive and appreciative of the value of others, like friends, family, and others who help you along the way.

Whether you are a single adult, a single parent, or part of a traditional or blended family, moving can be challenging. Your life changes the moment you decide to move, and it often takes several months to completely settle and feel "at home" in your new surroundings.

Adults: Moving Up and Moving On

Whether this is your first move from home, a retirement move, or any move in between, planning one can seem overwhelming. All the work you do to move has to fit into all the other things you do in life and that can cause stress.

If you are young and single, the thought of moving may be exciting, but it can also make you nervous about new friends, a new job, or new expenses. Perhaps you or your spouse are relocating because of a new job or new circumstances and you are worried about what effects the move will have on you or your family.

Just remember, concerns about the unknowns that lie ahead are typical, even if you've moved many times before.

As a single parent, or if your spouse has already started a new job at a new location, you may be handling both the challenge of moving and caring for your children at the same time. Members of a newly blended family face handling a move while just beginning to nurture new relationships. Whatever your situation, if your prepared with some essential tips, everyone can experience a healthy adjustment.

Whenever it's possible, plan a trip to your new destination. Whether you are house hunting or just taking a drive around your new neighborhood, a trip like this can help make the adjustment for children a lot easier. Familiarity can be a source of confidence. The following are some tips to remember.

Communicate
Share what you feel with others involved - both the issues that excite you as well as those that make you nervous or apprehensive. Communicating your feelings can relieve stress and boost your self-confidence.

Don't Neglect Your Health
In between running around and getting organized, take time to eat well, get plenty of sleep and exercise. This can help you stay healthy, both physically and psychologically.

Stay in Touch with Friends
A friendly, familiar voice is just a phone call away when you feel overwhelmed. Talking with someone who understands you can oftentimes help alleviate stress, allowing you to relax.

Build a Foundation
Getting settled means getting comfortable with your new surroundings. Try to form new relationships without draining your emotions. There are plenty of activities in which to get involved - get involved in school functions or become active in your neighborhood or local civic and religious organizations.

Don't Expect an Immediate Adjustment
Expecting your new life to immediately 'click' can be frustrating. You have to adapt to new surroundings and discover the features of your new community. With a little time you'll feel right at home.

Moving with Children: Parental Guidance is Suggested

Preschooler Preparation
Remember, your attitude about moving does not make your child more or less receptive to this sudden change and confusion. A child's unique personality and developmental age influence how well a move may be handled. The best way to prepare a little one for a change is simply with extra attention and positive reassurance.

When moving, babies may sense change as their schedules get disrupted. Older babies often fuss when encountering many new people. Remember that this is perfectly normal behavior for a child this age. Children in their 'terrible twos' will sometimes act up a little more than usual, and some fore and five-year olds may feel somehow responsible for the seemingly sudden disruption. Encourage your children to ask questions about the move as they may feel they'll be abandoned.

Get Them Involved
Share details of the move with children so they feel included. Taking the mystery out of moving will often ease their fears.

Routine Maintenance
Meals, snacks and naps are a big part of everyday life for children. The comfort that familiar routines bring helps make the move less stressful. North American packers are encouraged to go out of their way to accommodate your child's routine.

Safety First
Moving means household cleaners, medicines and paint may be scattered around the house. Take time to prevent accidental poisoning by using extra caution with these materials.

Showtime
'Playing out' your move with your children can help them relate to what's happening in their own terms. You can use dolls, toy trucks and toy furniture to rehearse what moving out of the house is like, and most importantly, unpacking at the new house to reveal the happy ending. These role-playing exercises can help children better understand and accept the real-life move.

Girls, Boys and Toys
Having a garage sale is great for things you don't need anymore, although that's not necessarily the case for your children's toys. Toys are an important part of a child's life - make it a point to bring cherished dolls or toys along with your move. The familiarity of playthings can help children adjust & feel more at ease. There can always be another garage sale when they're a little older.

Grade Schoolers

More Grown Up Than You Think
Pre-teen children understand moving, and often actually look forward to something new and different. They may even be eager to help. However, be sure to acknowledge their concerns or worries as the move approaches.

It’s normal for your grade-school children to feel sad about leaving their friends and teachers. Becoming 'the new kid' can be scary. Initially they may feel alienated as they adjust to new classes and routines. Be ready to show a special measure of love and understanding as they adapt.

Listen, Talk, Then Listen Again
It's a good idea to let pre-teens be involved in all parts of the move. If they're free to talk about both their hopes and fears, they will feel more important knowing that their feelings are a critical consideration in the move. Be sure to take time to communicate.

The Final Lap
You may want to visit your family's favorite local park, restaurant or attraction for one last time. In addition, see some familiar friends in order to reassure that you'll stay in touch with them. Keeping old lines of communication open helps turn goodbyes into enthusiastic anticipation for future hellos.

School's In
In order to better understand how your children are coping with a move, keep in contact with their school teachers. Express your willingness to provide extra tutoring if needed and ask that you be informed about any signs of your child having trouble adjusting.

In addition, before the first day of school, make a trip to the school and the area to increase your child's comfort level with the new situation.

A Letter and Stamp Kit
To help give your children continuity in their lives, help them stay in touch with old friends through letters and phone calls. Put together a collection of addresses, letters and stamps to emphasize the importance of letter writing.

Touring the Neighborhood
Explore your new neighborhood with your child and warn about busy streets, open culverts, strange dogs and other dangers, while at the same time noting all of the exciting attributes of your new environment. This can help your child feel safe and more at home in the new area.

The Middle-School Ages

Middle school years are the formative years when a child's self -esteem really begins to blossom. Moving can be very difficult at this time. Friendships which lead to self-discovery are suddenly disrupted. So many children try to put on a 'good front' to hide doubts and insecurities.

This is an excellent time to promote communication and foster growth for your middle-schooler's often-fragile self-confidence. Through the following suggestions you can help heighten their sense of self-esteem.

Involvement, Involvement, Involvement!
By soliciting ideas for your children about planning the move, you can really get them involved in taking an active apart in the experience. It'll boost self-confidence and offer a sense of control that middle-school aged teens can appreciate. Even let them pack some of their own belongings if they wish.

Provide Continuity
Work out plans for your child to help stay in touch with old friends, while discussing opportunities for making new ones. If your children are involved in any sports, music or other activities, encourage them to continue with their commitment. By exploring these activities, children discover their own self-worth and uniqueness, while at the same time they meet new friends.

Make Time Together
Moving will keep you busy, but if possible find time for uninterrupted activities that your child enjoys. Just a half-hour of devoted time together can foster security, helping to ensure a happier transition and a more stable childhood.

The High School Years

Adolescent Anxiety
Since every teenager is different, your high-schooler may react in different ways to the idea of moving.

Some teens see moving as an opportunity to get a fresh start with school, friends or even family. Others may be very reluctant to leave the relationships that they've established. They may express fear or anger at the thought of loneliness. Teens who have moved many times often feel the most threatened at the thought of moving again.

You may decide to let your senior stay behind with friends or relatives until graduation. Rules for curfew, dating, homework and finances should be set up ahead of time. In order to handle a situation where your teen needs help, establish a code word or phrase to use that says, "Pick me up, no questions asked." That way he or she knows you are still concerned and accessible.

Communication is a Two-Way Street
What your teenager says and doesn't say tells you a lot about the feelings held inside. Although teens can often communicate on an adult level about certain issues they still need extra love and support. Quiet children may feel no one understands or cares about their problems. Encourage open conversation, no matter what the topic.

Boys will Be Boys
Boys often confuse strength with silence. Parents can help by realizing that the silence is often a sense of false bravado. Teen-age boys often try to keep feelings to themselves. It's up to you not to confuse an absence of talking with an absence of emotion. Provide an atmosphere where your son is comfortable, allowing him to freely share his feelings.

Guesswork With Girls
For parents, it's often difficult to differentiate teenage melodrama from legitimate suffering. Many girls form very close friendships, and feel frustration when that intimacy can't be instantly recreated when they move. Repetitive moves can heighten this devastation so it's a good idea to pay careful attention to your teenage daughter's reactions.

Settling in for the Best

Getting unpacked and organizing your new home often generates feelings of relief as well as feelings of normalcy. Once the physical unpacking is done, however, there's still a personal adjustment to make. Growing comfortably emotionally can take time; so don't be surprised by some bumps in the road. Even the closest families can experience an adjustment time of up to eighteen months before finally feeling 'at home'.

If you think your move has affected you or a family member for the worse, don't put off seeking professional counseling. Just as you see a doctor for a physical exam, getting a personal check-up with a counselor can help ease an adjustment to new surroundings. To stay physically and personally healthy, it's a good idea to see someone before stress gets the better of you.

Remember, moving can be a challenge, although it also opens up a world of opportunities for you, your family, and your future. We can't ever know exactly what lies on the road ahead - but with the help of Comox Moving and Storage, your move can be promising and full of reward.

Trust our moving professionals to save you expense, time, and most of all, worry. Help make your Moving Experience as pleasant as possible with Comox Moving and Storage.

About the Author

Victor L Rebman, Ph.D. is a licensed clinical psychologist and co-founder of Adventures In Learning. He also maintains a private practice in Fort Wayne, Indiana, providing psychological services for adults, children and families. He is listed in the National Register of Health Service Providers in Psychology, and is a full member of the American Psychological Association. Dr. Rebman creates unique educational programs for promoting positive personal and organizational change. In addition to his years of professional experience, Dr. Rebman is also a father who has moved with his own family seven times.

Through his warm, creative teaching style, Dr. Rebman provides a comfortable atmosphere for exploring personal and organizational issues. "Once a goal is set, an adventure in learning begins," is Dr. Rebman's motto.

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